GUIDELINES IN ASKING AND MARRYING A FILIPINO WOMAN
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Wanna marry a Filipina?
Getting married with a native Filipina is not an easy thing to do. When I say native Filipina, I mean born and grow in the Philippines with Filipino parents. My former boss, who is a close friend of mine, marries a native Filipina-A Princess of their tribe (Mansaka Tribe) but prior to their marriage he had many first experiences before asking her hand.
I remember, he once said to me, “It is easy to make friends with Filipina women but it is hard for a foreign guy like me to have a relationship with one Filipina woman.” I just smiled to him and retorted, “You want my help?” Then I see his lips widened.
Here are few guidelines I told my boss that could help a foreign guy who wants to marry a native Filipina.
- FIRST, MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE GIRL YOU LIKE
Filipina by nature are friendly and hospitable. They always show their smile when someone they know call their names. A rule, don’t misunderstood if a Filipina girl smiles back at you it is just a simple gesture that she noticed your presence. If you said hi and she doesn’t reply any word, don’t worry, give her a time, she will.
- WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE
Filipina women don’t like arrogant guys. If you profess you feelings to a Filipina woman that you like her and ask for a date right away.. ha ha ha ha.. I bet, you will get a slap in your face or she will frown at you. The worst scenario you will get is that she will avoid you.
- GIVE HER TIME TO KNOW YOU MORE
Constant communication with her through text messages, letters and or any means of reaching her are effective ways on knowing her and knowing you. BUT, don’t expect that she will be the first one to communicate with you. A rule, A MAN should initiate first. It’s degrading for our part as Filipina woman to initiate the first move (It’s our culture).
- SET A DATE TOGETHER WITH HER FRIENDS
I was with them when my boss dated my close friend. The role of her friends was to make her comfortable with you first and then later on you can ask for a dinner date for two but never hold her hands or asked for a kiss when you have a first dinner date together. Or else, that would be the last date you can have with her.
- PROFESS YOU FEELINGS IN A ROMANTIC WAY
Say your feelings through card or letter, flowers and chocolate. Expect that she won’t give you answer right away even if you feel that she has feelings for you too. Waiting for the answer is your worst enemy but your patience pays off when she confessed her feelings too for mostly, Filipina by nature are sweet, loving, faithful and thoughtful.
- FREQUENT VISIT TO HER HOUSE WOULD GIVE GOOD IMPRESSIONS
Visiting the girl on her parent’s house would set good impressions to her and the parents that your intentions are good and serious. Meeting her just on the streets, café or pubs will signify that your feelings are fake. Besides, meeting the parents of the girl in the Philippines is not an easy thing to do just like what my boss had experienced.
- GETTING CLOSE TO HER FAMILY MORE THAN HER
When you’re in her home, you must be polite and talk to her parents first and getting to know them. Or one way of saying, “You will have to court her family first before her”. Meeting the approval of the family is an indication that they approve your relationship with her and your welcome to be part of their family. And another thing, you have to bring something or gifts not only for her but also for her mom and dad. But what I have suggested to my boss, a chocolate for her mom and flowers for her. Getting the mom’s approval is like you have a defender in the family.
- PREPARING YOURSELF IN A HOT SEAT
First meeting with the parents and relatives are the toughest thing you will experienced. It is the time that they will interrogate your intention towards their precious gem in the family. My boss had a hard time, he experienced that being in front of her family and answering their questions are more difficult than being in a court cross examine by the lawyer. “It is like I have to bring an updated biodata and legal papers on my wallet all the time just to prove my status” he said. The parents just want to be sure that you’re not married with any other woman because the parents are much concerned with the future of their daughter. We value family relations because we don’t have divorce here in the Philippines and broken family issue as much as possible is not an option.
Once the family had proven that your intention to their daughter is good and serious then the ordeal is gone. You will be at home visiting your girl and always be a part of the family gatherings and important celebrations. And my boss had started calling his in-laws Ma and Pa even before they got married. I know this stuff because I was his translator when he first meets the girls' parents and I was the maid of honor in their wedding.
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Actually, getting married to a filipina is the easiest thing to do, all you need is to be white, or have money and the rest falls in to place=) It's funny, filipina's are still in denial about how easy they are to get, I've never met a hard to get filipina, the hardest part i had with getting a filipina is when i was sleeping=)
Topgunjager,
well, that is not what happen to my boss, he is an australian but he finds hard to marry my close friend beause of traditions.. She is a native. Not all filipina women are like that.. well maybe the filipina you have encountered are Gold digger or liberated.. then that is not the filipina I am refering or talking about. Thre are still few who are bound to their old culture..
you said it yourself, "there are still few" having a few good ones doesn't mean you can generalize filipinas, 99.99 percent of filipinas will choose a white man over another race, non of them have pride in who they are and the color of their skin, if you're still trying to deny this then how come the best selling product in the philippines are skin whiteners? even the philippine president has her own skin whitening company, she makes so much money stealing from the people and yet she still tapped into this market of whitening your skin because it means there is so much money to be made from it. denial about your culture will not make your country better, but realizing your faults will=)
Well put topgunjager, Im irish Canadian, I WOULD NEVER GIVE UP WHO I AM OR WHERE IM FROM!
Straight up Pride my good man!
Cheers
Very nice article.
I'm a fil-am and just married the love of my life, 100% cebuana. :)
MP
AM happy for you SVM.. well my husband to be is 100% American hopefully this year we will be married if my fiancée visa will be approved. How long you waited for her visa approval?
I am married to an american for almost 8 years and have 3 beautiful kids. We go through typical marital issues every now and then, and like i always tell people "he just happened to be white". I did not love nor chose him because of his color or what was in his pocket. Matter of fact, he didn't have any money at all (because his filipina ex-wife scammed him and he was left with nothing but his passport which he was also about to lose). but marrying an american doesn't mean i do not take pride of my culture nor my own color. i love my country that's why i'm staying foot here. i petitioned him so he can get a permanent residency here. i don't dream on going to america, i never asked him for a green card. we made our long term plans to raise our children here. No, I didn't play the hard-to-get ball. I was liberated and straight forward and I honestly think that this "conservative tradition blah blahs" is down right hypocrite. If 2 human beings are in-love (no matter what race they belong to), who cares about tradition?
khay, thanks for the comment.. I am happy for you. Well, in my case, I really don't like to marry a foreigner at first because of culture differences but when I met my bf and some friends back, I found out not all foreigners are the same.. like not all Filipino women are the same.. I like your point of view.. Your exactly right on what you have said there that if two people are in love who cares about tradition?
But we have to consider not all people especially the parents are the same.. Parents who are orthodox. We know that even we are in the major age as long we live in our parents house we should abide by their rules.. except if your an orphan. Then you are free to do what you feel is right.
I dislike what topgunner had said..that Filipina women only marry because of money because if that is the fact.. I would have been long married by now..
All I know, I love him so much and I want to grow old with him.. I go where he wanna go.
I have nevr been to the Phillipines YET but chat with quite a few Filipinas online I have dozens of them as facebook friends. Very easy to talk to and they all want to marry me and come to America what a great moral boost for a 45 year old man having all these young hot looking chicks wanting to hook up with you.
Dan,
Your old enough to know if these Filipina your talking about are true to their intentions.. One hint if she is eager to go there, then that is not a good sign.. Just like any other women in the world, not all Filipina women are llike what you think.
If a Filipina is educated, hard to get, and you find hard time to get in touch with her and know her.. then she is a good one.. She is not after of whatever you can offer her.
Me in my case, I am madly in love with a 42 yr old guy for four (4) years now. I love him for the way he is and the way he loves me. Four (4) is enough time for me to say he is the right one for me..
AM 34 now and I am going to marry him this year..
i have met my girl on line a few months now and she is philipino i am irish i ring her every weekend and she is a little angel,she wants me to go to phillipines next summer to meet her parents,whom she said to me are very open minded once i meet them face to face,she said if i wanted to marry her it would not be a problem if i love and take care of there daughter she is very precious to them i willlook after her and take care of her that would not be a problem,does any 1 out there no i need a visa to visit phillipines for to weeks and then i wanted to bring my girl back to ireland for a holiday for a couple of months what would my girl need regards traveling to this country if i were to marry her in phillipines would she be able to travel into ireland when she wanted too without visa if she were my wife,and live here as a citizen if we were married if any 1 out there knows what i need to do i would e very greatful for a reply thank u
Johnny
You can go to the Philippines without a visa for 21 days but after that you need to go out of the Philippines. With regards for her to come with u in ireland she needs a visa. Your country has requirements in needing one. The visa I used in getting into my fiance's country is K1 visa which I know is fast. This visa means that she can come to your country for 90 days and
get married wthin that period.Why cant you just look at
your country immigration website and see how she can go there. Each country has different requirements need. Maybe in your country tourist visa is easy to get. Hope I able to help u in this.
thanks a lot dwarfstar that was a great help cheers
I love Filipino women and he married before and he don't like to stay with her husband and now we staying in Singapore and give me some idea to bring her to my home town , i am form India , we both love each other so much ,
look at your immigration office in india. You can obtain forms on how to bring your lover there but you have to pay a fee for that.. As a start, better save your communication you have with her such as letters, cards, emails, pictures together and some other documents that could prove your relationship with each other..
your welcome
they just want out of there poverty over there and these desperate old ugly fat americans that cant get anyone from here fall for these desperate woman lol there are 160,000 american woman to choose from lol and these men are control freaks and no one here wants them lol
krizkins 2 years ago
thanx for your article dwarfstar. It is absolutely true, a typical filipina is not easy to get. Although there are some who can't behave like the true identity of a real filipina, but those are exemptions. Just like other women in the other countries of different races. They too have women who have weaknesses and failures. Disregarding of the race, we are all human after all. But filipina women mostly conservative but loving,caring,thoughtful and loyal. But those who act against it are the exceptions of the real image of filipina women. Filipina must not be misunderstood.